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Sat, Nov. 19th, 2011, 10:38 am
It's been four months, let me just geek out about music right quick

I got dumped and used it as an excuse to hate everything--not that I usually need much of one, really--anyway, I got to listen to Say Anything again without feeling sort of awkward about how pointlessly angry it was, so that was nice. And they're coming here in three weeks! So that should be fun.

I have another blog--story of my life is, more or less, having way too many blogs at one time--about, um, moving into my first apartment, and growing up, and stuff like that, which, do we really need another blog in which a college student talks about being a college student and why it is occasionally tricksy and difficult? We do not. But oh well. It's also about managing my anxiety because of reasons, la.

So--geeking out about music! Two CDs I've been really appreciating lately are Florence and the Machine's new Ceremonials, which came out I guess two weeks ago, and The Family Jewels by Marina and the Diamonds, which is quite a bit older. Ceremonials is another album full of songs that you maybe should not listen to right after you've been dumped--"No Light, No Light" is stuck in my head all the time, but that's as much because it's an incredible song as because the lyrics are sad ("you want a revelation, you want to get right, but that's a conversation I just can't have tonight" in the chorus, "and I'd do anything to make you stay, no light, no light, you can't choose what fades and what stays away" in...a part that is not the chorus but repeats a lot?).

The two albums are really similar in that they're both kind of repeat-heavy, um, I do not talk about music very often (because I get way too excited and then cannot shut up), it is not that the songs sound similar but that the songs are largely made up of pieces of melody and lyrics that repeat? But it works because they're both incredible singing, and it just--god, I love Florence Welch and Marina Diamandis so much, so very very much.

I hope you're all doing well, people who follow me. I will try to do less creepy lurking and more actually interacting with other people, because that is what you do when you want to have friends! The end.

Thu, Jul. 14th, 2011, 02:29 pm

This weekend I am going to visit a friend of mine who's spent the last month and a half or so in Houston working on life things. I might drag him to see Harry Potter, and then I might cry a lot. Probably not, though. I saw the Youtube clip of DanRad dancing in "Brotherhood of Man" from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, and I just keep imagining what Ron would say.

(Probably "Bloody hell!")

I like Eljay. I should probably write things on it instead of just reading my friends list and looking futilely for some sort of "like" button--Tumblr has ruined me in that it doesn't even require that I create my own content. But I get kind of bored stealing other people's. NAVEL GAZING! This is the kind of quality assurance you can expect from me. Huzzah.

Fri, Apr. 8th, 2011, 09:59 am
blah blah school things blah anxiety blah, but with a smiley face on the end

 This morning I had a meeting with the professor who is currently teaching me about C. S. Lewis and the Oxford Christians. He said nice things, like that I had the kind of mind that would be able to complete this ridiculous mission. Commonly called "being a philosophy major." I'm not totally giving up on science, but there are only so many chemicals I can memorize before my brain tries to collapse in on itself, and then after that it's not like I can debate anything anyone tells me. I just got so bored. So instead of marine biology, I'll get a dual degree in philosophy instead. I wish I could give up the micro, but I've only got like six more classes in that, so it would be silly. Sigh.

On the up side (and really all of the sides are up and YAY), this does mean that I get to make new friends who never have to take organic chemistry or the organic chemistry lab and have no idea what it's like to be constantly surrounded by people who all want to go to medical school! A whole new crop of strangers with relatively undamaged psyches! YES.

The anxiety thing's been getting worse--I'm kind of falling back into my old habits of pretending like ignoring it is going to make it go away and watching too many things on Netflix, but I'm at least attempting to multitask while I do it, and on school things instead of drawing pictures or whatever.

I feel a lot better about the next two years now. I was interested in learning about science, but I don't feel so much like I have to just survive the rest of college so I can do what I really want to do afterwards, so. It just sucks about the anxiety, because even though logically I know (or, in one case that I don't want to bring up here, have reason to suspect) things are going really well, I still feel like I'm about to wreck everything half the time. I'm going to start getting more exercise. I talked to Doctor Uncle and he said that would help. He also said "Xanax" a lot, but...this is a bit weak, but the thought of being on such an addictive medication makes me panic about as much as actually having an anxiety attack does, so I'm trying everything else I can think of before that happens.

Spring break is in eight days, and I think it's going to go really well. Basically the plan is to hang out with julydixon  and then study around the edges. We're going to the beach!

Things are good.

I really need to wash my hair. But that's why whoever made hats made hats. Tra la la.

Wed, Apr. 6th, 2011, 10:11 pm
ned read a book with plot in it or you are going to implode again

Okay, self.

The Christmas lights are plugged in, it's after ten on a school night, this week is going well. Right? This week is going well.

I got a lot done tonight.

This has been a post? Sorry, I keep forgetting that to be part of communities you have to actually interact with people. And I'm...really quite bad at interacting with people.

However. Now is not the time to work on that, so. The end. 

Thu, Mar. 17th, 2011, 10:16 am

Okay so riding my bike two and a half miles on a stomach full of smoked mozzarella pasta salad and 12 fluid ounces of grapefruit juice and some snow peas and coffee, and wearing new shoes, jeans, a .75-length sleeved shirt, and a corduroy jacket with the sleeves rolled up was kind of the opposite of a good idea. Everything's all spinny.

However! I have food now, and I exercised today, and I have a test in fifteen minutes and alksdjfal whatever. Today is a day for picnics and driving around listening to music and being an exhibitionist, except not really.

In conclusion, delicious food=your argument is invalid. Words? Functioning later.

Thu, Mar. 10th, 2011, 12:41 am
I went to Mars for a second, but I'm back now, and I've got T-shirts for everybody

Reel Big Fish intro lyric things. This is because I am deeply passionate about weird angry ska bands, and also because I am filled to the brim with class.

SERIOUS NOTE: If you have any excess money you should put it here. It goes to a college orchestra in Christchurch, New Zealand, which was recently devastated by an earthquake. As you can read on the site, donations will allow them to tour Europe. More information can be found in this post by blamebrampton.

Everything that follows is entirely more frivolous than I really have time to be, but I swore long ago to never let myself be stopped by such miserable things. Let me tell you about Bosco's Frozen Yogurt.

Bosco's Frozen Yogurt is a deeply magical land where they charge a mere $0.42 USD per ounce for delicious, well, frozen yogurt, and as many toppings as you can possibly think of that are not ridiculous or still alive. It's open until midnight, so it's also where Ra and I end up once or twice a month when what I can only describe as the

Jesus Christ it's a lion, GET IN THE CAR
(image: a black-and-white cat with a red collar clings to the edge of a rolled-down car window. It appears to be screaming in terror.)

impulse hits. Which it did. Vigorously.

We usually bring Gemma and go purely for the pleasure of each other's company. Well, we usually invite Gemma, but she usually makes the responsibility face and stays home studying. But today, since Ra and I are both determined to become serious students who do well at life and make lots of money when we actually have real jobs, we brought our homework. If we are both giving up Catholicism for Lent (which I've done since I was eleven or twelve and she's done since high school), we might as well at least turn over new leaves. In my case I may need to uproot a tree, but...there's no real reason to let a little thing like that stand in the way of productivity.

I brought flashcards, because I have an organic chemistry test tomorrow. And I flashed them mightily! This...worked about as well as you might think.

Maybe Gemma will let me work for her? Well, no, not if she sees what I got last year in Honors Organic Chemistry I. To which I can only say, it was a B if the teacher says it was, and he does. So there.

Sun, Feb. 20th, 2011, 07:40 pm
when someone ruins a good thing

 It happened again.

There's a podcast on iTunes called How Did This Get Made?, sponsored by Earwolf. Each episode focuses on another awful movie, and they discuss what exactly was happening and what made it so hilariously bad. The most recent episode (Episode Four) was based on The Last Airbender.

I know how badly that movie was made. I have lots of friends who watched the cartoon, and I know how horribly the cast was whitewashed, and I know that M. Night Shyamalan should probably take a nice long vacation to think about his directing techniques. So I knew I was going to like this podcast, is the point I'm trying to make.

And I did. It was really, really funny; they brought up the casting issues, the ridiculousness of the Earth tribe not being able to escape from a prison made out of dirt, the general strangeness of the concept itself, and all the other things everyone hates about this movie.

The last five minutes or so they save for reader comments. This time, they tasked the readers to give this movie backhanded compliments. Several people said things I agreed with.

Someone sent in "At least I wasn't raped while I watched it." The panel cracked up. One of the people on it said "well, I was," and it turned into a joke that lasted the rest of the episode.

It was only five minutes, but it was enough.

What do you do when people who produce something you otherwise enjoy make rape jokes? Make gay jokes? Make race jokes? I don't know what I would have done if this kind of cruelty (because that's what it is. That's all it is. It isn't funny if you actually think about what you are actually saying) had happened outside of the podcast. But since it happened on the actual recording itself, I refuse to listen to it anymore.

It's sick that people still think this is funny. It's sick that people ever did.

Thu, Feb. 17th, 2011, 07:17 am

 I have a love-hate relationship with caffeine. On some days, I love it and it hates me. On some days, I hate it, but it gets all "I'M THE SWAN QUEEN" on my brain and it's either drink coffee or fall asleep in my 7:30 class. I still haven't seen Black Swan, but there's a gif going around Tumblr of the relevant quote and it's stuck in my head.

Some days, like today, I was clever and thought ahead and bought a second coffee before I left the library. With these and the leftover fried rice--with, essentially, your powers combined--I can become Captain Planet! Because Captain Planet doesn't have to take exams. Presumably he could also do something about the fog outside, which looks like it is from that Steven King book about fog. You know, that other thing I haven't seen or read or anything.

Oh! And if you're interested in reading a short story I wrote, watch this space, because I'm going to be in the next edition of bb_shousetsu and I'll post a link! It's gay boy porn written by a lesbian (so should, at least, be good for a laugh), but there is also plot, and that part I have been assured by at least one very reliable source who loves me and likes it when I am happy and look how much sense this is making, go, Ned, go to class, is pretty nice.

Thu, Feb. 10th, 2011, 11:33 am
If today won't stop happening, I WILL HAPPEN RIGHT BACK.

 I'm short. I'm roughly 5'4", which is roughly 1.63 meters, which is actually very slightly above the national (United States) average for people over twenty as recorded by Wikipedia.

I'm also a pacifist--at any rate, I don't approve of violence used to solve problems.

I've also got apparently more than the average amount of hormones, which means that just at this exact moment all I want to do is punch everyone in the face. Unfortunately, I'm both wise enough to know that it wouldn't really help and too short to reach properly.

You may send all condolences in the form of paid sick leave. Since I don't have a job with a salary (as opposed to a job with an hourly wage, which I DO have, but obviously can't give me money for hours I don't work), I suppose you'll just have to magically give me an A in classes I stop attending.

Last year at about this time (February) I decided everything that was happening was the fault of the month itself. This year I decided to be positive and not let superstition make itself true, or whatever--that "magical thinking" thing that has been so popular of late.


STOP IT, FEBRUARY. YOU STOP IT RIGHT. VERY. NOW. And then we can go for drinks and I promise to be the life and soul of both wit and charm.

Mon, Feb. 7th, 2011, 06:52 pm

Was potato chips (ADULTHOOD) and queso (ADULTHOOD) and coffee (FUCK YEAH, ADULTHOOD!). The reasons I do not tell many people about my Livejournal are vast and numerous.

In other news, I'm...definitely not going to stir this coffee (dinner is, incidentally, still happening) with my pen. At all. Because that would be juvenile and immature.

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